The Wonders Of Coconut Oil

Coconut

Do you know that drinking coconut oil in your tea will make you beautiful? Apparently, it will. At least, if all these articles I’ve been reading in fashion magazines, and wellness magazines, and ‘you could be so much better than you are’ magazines are telling the truth. And why would they lie to us? What motivation could they possibly have for lying to us? None, I tell you! None!

And not only should you put coconut oil in your tea (and who doesn’t want to drink oily tea) you should also slather it in your hair and on your body and oh my goodness why aren’t you bathing in coconut oil daily??!!! Coconut oil will make your skin glow, coconut oil will increase your metabolism, coconut oil will make all your fat go away, coconut oil will make {insert celebrity name here} fall in love with you, coconut oil will save your soul!

Seriously y’all, I don’t know if I have room to add one more thing to my daily beauty routine that’s supposed to make my skin aglow and my cheeks perfectly flushed and my eyes shiny and my hair stronger. And I just really wonder how much of my brainpower I’ve spent on concocting a beauty routine? Could I have better used that brainpower to cure a disease or solve the economic crises? We’ll never know because I’m too busy slathering on creams and drinking four cups of green tea with coconut oil in it everyday. True story.

I should probably say something really poignant about a society obsessed with beauty and how that’s bad, very bad, but hypocrisy is not a good look on me, so make of this what you will. It can be something very revealing about our culture or it can be about how awesome coconut oil is. Your choice.

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17 thoughts on “The Wonders Of Coconut Oil

  1. You lost me at ‘oily tea’ – made me think of the side effects of some of those fat absorption blocking diet pills that have the side effect of ‘oily farts’.

    New Rule: If a side effect includes anything ‘oily’ its not for Nancy!

  2. the other industry that’s hopping onto the coconut oil bandwagon is for pets. The coconut oil I bought at the grocery store was identical to the one I found at the petstore, but half the price. It makes my dog’s breath smell much less like something crawled in there and died, and is a huge improvement on the vaguely seashore smell he got when I was giving him fish-oil supplements . Undetermined whether it makes his cheeks rosy and his hair glossy, though I’m sure Lassie would find him completely and utterly alluring now that he eats coconut oil :P

  3. But…I would hate to have to sacrifice my “lovely bunch of coconuts” (that I compulsively keep around to justify singing the song), for the sake of beauty! Never! Ugliness prevails! :)

    • That’s true- many many coconuts are pulverized each day to make the world a more beautiful place (at least physically), at some point we have to ask ourselves “Is it worth it?”
      ;)

  4. This cracked me up! I started incorporating more coconut oil into my life (and really like it actually) but my fiance teases me about my “snake oil” cure all! Now whenever I come up with something wrong his recommended “cure” is to put coconut oil on. I do have to admit it feels wonderful on your hair and skin…and tastes good in oatmeal. Tea? I think I will pass :)

  5. As a dietitian, I get asked about all these wonder foods. A few years ago it was goji berries that were going to cure cancer, then it was acai berries, now its coconut oil. I’ve worked with lots of obese islanders (the Torres Straits off northern Australia) who cook everything in coconut cream. Rates of chronic disease are horrifically high but they do have lovely skin!

  6. Did you know that if you don’t have any plasma or saline around, coconut water is a legit substitute for intravenous infusion? It might not make you pretty, but it’ll prevent you from going into shock!

  7. I actually get so damn angry with our society; hypocrisy put aside, but we just warp everyones insecurities into a sales pitch; they know everyone will want better skin or body and so they just go through these huge crazes and pull everyone in; I remember the goji berry fandom (I forgot about them, and hey, I’m not dead yet) and for the record, I’ve been TRYING coconut oil on my skin, and I’m verbally ‘lol’ing because nothing is happening. But oil in my tea; oh, you do know how to get my stomach turned on ;)

  8. I totally listened to one of those articles and bought coconut oil at Trader Joe’s the other day. Tried cooking with it when I made peanut butter cookies, which worked. Tried rubbing it on my skin, which didn’t work… I smelled vaguely like chinese food.

  9. Didn’t realise about the coconut oil in tea, but I’ve been doing the coconut oil in hair for as long as I can remember. Once or twice a week, leave it in overnight. The next day I do need to thoroughly wash it out, otherwise you’re left with hair that looks like you haven’t washed it in weeks! Totally works.

    You know what also works? Add a dash of rosemary and lavender oil into melted coconut oil when you’re putting it on your hair if you’ve got a headache. It’ll make you feel tonnes better, and smell a little nicer too!

  10. i just started taking just one teaspoon a day and i dont really feel a big difference, but jus like anything else u should wait a month or 2. i guess ill start putting it in my tea because taking it as is, its alittle too much. its crazy thick, feels like smooth butter melting in your mouth…LOL but i do use it in my hair…AWWW i have natural hair so anything that adds shine and makes it softs is good for me. Feels jus like a cotton ball after i leave it in overnight.

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