I’m A Pussy & So Are You

105You’re a pussy.

Wow, it just got super hostile up in here. I can feel the rage boiling over, kittens. Did Grace just call me weak? Is she using female genitalia slang as an insult? My mason jar of whoop ass, it beckons! That anger is legit. The use of female genitalia, or the feminine in general, as an insult is both pervasive and shitty. Hands down, the worst thing a teenage boy can be called is something feminine. “Pussy” and “douchebag” flow as easily from the lips of youths as “Of course, I wasn’t drinking, Ma.” Being designated as feminine is to be weak and small—a nightmare in an adolescent world that values athleticism and aggression above all else.

Except, here’s the thing…pussies are badass. Vaginas are the physical embodiment of strength and resilience. Just think about it! An opening no wider than a couple of fingers is expected to push a living, squalling, life form out of itself. Hell, forget babies. Those cats get all the vaginal concern. Did you know that a penis needs two pounds of force to push into a vagina? That’s the same required to push through a swinging door.* Y’all, male members have engorge themselves with blood and become hard as steel, just to attempt breaching our forces. Your vagina is a baller, shot caller.

Perhaps you should examine your insults a bit closer, society. The next time someone calls their friend a “pussy” in my presence, they’re going to get an extremely vivid lecture about vaginal resilience. Being a “pussy” in the true sense of the word is something to be celebrated. This is what should be going down on basketball courts across America:

Youth 1: Don’t be such a pussy, Bryce! Get up!

Youth 2: Did you just call me a pussy, Aiden?

Youth 1: Yeah. What are you going to do about it?

Youth 2: Dude, I’m going to hug the shit out of you. Thanks so much! Did you know that your mom’s vagina expanded to ten times its normal width just to push your big head out of it? I didn’t realize you thought I was such a baller. That’s really sweet, man.

Dear reader, you’re a pussy and a cunt and a twat, but only in the very best sense of the words. You are strong, capable, and resemble an orchid in full bloom. If you wanted to, you could totally push a metaphorical baby out of your heart. Go pussies!

- Grace

Note: Special thanks to my friend and very favorite sailor, Admiral Nelson, for his insights into male humans and the awesomeness of vaginas.

*Source: Bonk by Mary Roach, which you should read immediately.

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31 thoughts on “I’m A Pussy & So Are You

  1. Pussy, cunt and vagina…..all words that can be equally powerful and empowering. The problem is the societal expectation, what a certain word means. If society expects that “pussy” and “cunt” are derogatory, and everyone goes by it, then it will be. I think it is time to take back the words – to a more positive light, don’t you think?

    • I am 100% in agreement. If we don’t use them in a positive way now, how will they ever be reappropriated? I’m sick of the feminine always being an insult. Vaginas, no matter what you call them, are not synonymous with weakness.

  2. Loved this post. I don’t go around calling people by body parts but maybe I’ll start. I have to be careful if I intend to insult them given the positive spin on the information above. How about “Up yours you knee cap.”

  3. I always laugh when someone uses that word because I think pussy is such a funny sounding word. I also think of cats and kittens. My boy will just say it around me, not as an insult, just say the word because it makes me giggle.

  4. There is a book called ‘Cunt’ which goes along similar lines to these – reclaiming the word etc. My mother likes to think that she’s a feminist (she doesn’t do a very good job of it, IMO, she will rant on about equality and then go all useless and flutter her eye lashes when it comes to doing anything she considers a ‘man’ job such as taking out the rubbish, or driving! .. I digress.) I bought her the book thinking it would be of interest for her, and she couldn’t get past the “disgusting” word on the front, no matter how much I explained that she was only submitting to the negative connotations placed upon the word by people who use feminine words to signify weakness and negativity.

    An excellent example of reclaiming a word: Queer. Love. It.

  5. Interesting. On the flip side… calling a man a dick assumes something vile, depraved and disgusting. Hmm maybe referencing genitialia as an insult is the problem. But hey I’m a pussy so what do I know!

  6. Pingback: Things I love Thursday – vaginas! | This Rosy Life

  7. This post moved me for some reason. I’m new to this blogging stuff, mainly doing it to have a record of the new police department I’m starting up. With practice my blog will look this good some day, but for now, fighting crime comes first.

  8. Haha Awesome. Now we just need to come up with some new insults… Because eventually most words will change in meaning anyway… like when your mom says she’s going to go slip into her thong (and she means flip-flop). Ew.

  9. Very insightful.
    If I may say, ‘Don’t be a dick/cock’ is equally derogatory – although it has different layers of meanings, embellished by sitcoms, rom coms, and the worse bar squalls.
    And it’s no wonder genitals seem to represent extreme gender stereotypes – besides being uniquely female, a cunt inherently also encompass a general sense of ‘Fuck You’ – a sense of hostility that boobs for instance can never convey.
    In other words, I’d relish being a cunt if someone is a dickhead. Just saying.

  10. Pingback: i’m a pussy and so are you | kuntsrule

  11. Totally agree with this, and all the comments! Especially the absurdidty of the phrase ‘grow some balls’ – the most sensitive part of a man’s body!

    Pop over to my blog for sex, love and LDRs

    Rachael | sexandtheldr.wordpress.com

  12. I always thought pussy also referred to cats, and thus calling a guy a weak pussy was just an insult to cats (which I do not advocate either now that I think about it.)

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