The Wonders Of Coconut Oil


Do you know that drinking coconut oil in your tea will make you beautiful? Apparently, it will. At least, if all these articles I’ve been reading in fashion magazines, and wellness magazines, and ‘you could be so much better than you are’ magazines are telling the truth. And why would they lie to us? What motivation could they possibly have for lying to us? None, I tell you! None!

And not only should you put coconut oil in your tea (and who doesn’t want to drink oily tea) you should also slather it in your hair and on your body and oh my goodness why aren’t you bathing in coconut oil daily??!!! Coconut oil will make your skin glow, coconut oil will increase your metabolism, coconut oil will make all your fat go away, coconut oil will make {insert celebrity name here} fall in love with you, coconut oil will save your soul!

Seriously y’all, I don’t know if I have room to add one more thing to my daily beauty routine that’s supposed to make my skin aglow and my cheeks perfectly flushed and my eyes shiny and my hair stronger. And I just really wonder how much of my brainpower I’ve spent on concocting a beauty routine? Could I have better used that brainpower to cure a disease or solve the economic crises? We’ll never know because I’m too busy slathering on creams and drinking four cups of green tea with coconut oil in it everyday. True story.

I should probably say something really poignant about a society obsessed with beauty and how that’s bad, very bad, but hypocrisy is not a good look on me, so make of this what you will. It can be something very revealing about our culture or it can be about how awesome coconut oil is. Your choice.